Recognizing the roots of anger (part 1)

Ever been angry? Think about the last time. Maybe you are angry now! What button was pushed? What was the cause? Can you pin point it? We all get angry. We express anger differently. Ultimately, anger is a normal emotion. It is not always bad. 

There is acceptable and unacceptable anger. Judges mandate “Anger Management” classes to those that cross the line of acceptability. That person’s anger has negatively affected the rights and freedom of another. We have to be put in check and helped to understand how to respond. 

There is good anger too. Yep, you heard me right. When you are in danger or someone you know is in danger, anger kicks in so that you can defend. Anger is also good when there is an injustice. It is good to be angry when evil is done. God himself gets angry over evil, rebellion, injustice and sin. God tells us to be angry at these things too. 

People express it in one of three ways: spew it, leak it or stuff it. Those that spew rarely hold back verbal rebuttal. The leaker expresses through sarcasm or seeks to get even indirectly. Then there is the person who stuffs it. Anger makes this person sick. Stuffers will eventually leak and more likely explode. That is just not pretty sight. 

It is important to determine the root cause of anger. Some of the causes are selfishness, rejection, and even unmet goals or expectations. Selfishness is the killer of relationships. It puts your needs above others. It needs affirmed and fed. Teens today say, I just want to do me. Basically, it is all about me. It is a root of many problems. 

Rejection is powerful to a person’s sanity. People look for and desire to be accepted. They want to be loved. They would like “to” love. They desire to belong. When they do not get the response right they are looking for, it affects their perceived self worth. If dwelt on long enough can lead to mental illness. 

Unmet goals and expectations can also spark anger. When people get in the way of you achieving the goal, they end up a target.  How many road rage incidents show that person was late to work, interview, or destination was blocked due to traffic issues. They get extremely angry, frustrated and some react violently. 

These roots lead to anger, but it doesn’t have to lead to destruction. Anger is the alert light to let you know that there is an issue. When you start to get angry, check yourself before you wreck yourself. If you are dealing with anger, start to recognize the roots. This is the start of overcoming anger issues and becoming healthier you. 

Next week we will look at (part 2) strategies overcoming anger.